Category Archives: Relationship

11 Gross Signs You’ve Reached Peak Comfort Levels In Your Relationship

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When we begin a relationship, we try to be the best version of ourselves. We’re always clean, always shaven and never discuss anything that doesn’t work to enhance the dynamic and cultivate closeness: family, lifelong goals, deepest secrets or what we did during the day.

Nothing creates intimacy, however, like an accidental fart or a severely unshaven vagina.

Nothing makes you realize how much you love your boyfriend or girlfriend than when their gross morning breath somehow isn’t that gross, or when weight gain in particularly unattractive places doesn’t make you cringe.

We’re all human, and we can’t sustain this level of perfection that we all strive to attain in the beginning of our relationships. Eventually, the stuff we worked so hard to keep hidden comes out — literally.

Here’s how you know the love is real.

1. There’s no demanding need to shave.

The beauty of a comfortable relationship is that you only need to shave if you want to. There’s no longer that weird pressure to do so to impress someone.

Sure, lots of us shave for ourselves and not for the pleasure of a man, but long winter months make even the most uptight of ladies lazy.

The last thing any girl wants to do in the winter is spend time in the shower shaving off the scruff keeping her legs and ladybits warm; it just gives the bottom half of her body even more goosebumps on the walk out of the shower.

I mean, is there anything worse than having to emerge from the coziness of a steaming shower when it’s 30 degrees outside? Don’t make it worse by forcing her to remove her natural blanket.

Also, any boyfriend would be a total jerk if he dumped his girlfriend just because she didn’t shave for a month. What if she was just prepping the area for the landing strip she’s crafting for you for your birthday? You’d never know.

2. You fart in front of each other.

Surprise! With a booty comes a bootyhole.

Girls especially like to pretend they don’t fart. They probably spend the first six-to-18 months of a relationship convincing their boyfriends that the only holes they have are their mouths and ladybits.

But one night, you will take her to get Mexican food for your anniversary, you will be having sex and press on her stomach weirdly, or she will be unsuccessful in yet another attempt at trying to hide and blame you for one of the many SBDs she does in front of you — and the inevitable will occur.

Just laugh, OK? There’s no turning back now. You both fart.

3. Poop is discussed in any capacity.

Nobody likes talking about pooping. That kind of talk is reserved for your health-conscious mother when she asks if you’re eating enough fiber, with your doctor at a check-up, and with your closest friends during chats about everyone’s varying levels of constipation.

A new milestone in any relationship is reached when someone mentions his or her bowels, so you know you’ve hit peak comfort level with your boyfriend when you can discuss how much you have to sh*t.

This, along with number 2, is another reminder that girls are human. The guy who wrote that “Everyone Poops” book is a damn genius.

4. Period talk, especially the non-judgmental kind, is acceptable.

Sometimes, it’s necessary.

A girl suffers more than just the obvious bleeding for five days straight when she gets her period. She may become more irritable, impatient, emotional and in need of random foods.

Maybe she doesn’t feel like having sex with you, or maybe her sex drive is out of control. Maybe she looks a little bloated in her crop top. Maybe, mid-hookup, it comes out. In all of these cases, period talk will happen.

A good relationship knows the two key components of acceptable period talk: what kind (if it involves the prospect of period sex or a need for complaining) and when to do it (only if she brings it up — which means never, ever, ask “Jesus, are you on your period?” after a heated conversation).

If conversations about periods occur without your boyfriend wanting to jump off a cliff, consider your relationship golden.

5. You pee with the door open.

If you’re in the middle of a crucial conversation, why end it just because one of you has to pee? Just leave the door open a crack, continue with that thought and let it out. Or, if you’re getting ready to go in the shower together, just sit on the toilet and go.

Before the first time this happens, you’ll probably ask if you could, and your partner will probably give you a nervous, hasty, “Uh, yeah, that’s fine.”

But soon, it won’t matter, and you’ll both get used to the sound.

6. You let him pee in the shower when you shower together.

Girls find the phenomenon of “peeing while standing” incredibly foreign and strange, and they like to keep the idea of showering with you as sexy as possible. Considering these two major thought processes, if she lets you pee in the shower while she’s in it with you, it’s a pretty big deal.

Of course, you’d better turn the f*ck around and make sure she doesn’t actually see anything. Also, for the love of God, make sure it goes in the direction of the drain.

7. Morning breath doesn’t gross you out.

I find it interesting how often people avoid discussing the unsexy parts of a post-hookup sleepover: the smudged makeup that reveals nasty blemishes, the obnoxious snoring, how impossible it is to actually fall asleep and stay asleep, the eye crusties and the morning breath.

Oh, that morning breath.

After a sufficient amount of sleepovers with your significant other, you’ve definitely caught a whiff of their rancid halitosis.

Those luxurious early hours of pre-teeth-brushing morning sex will inevitably begin with traces of putrid breath, especially if your partner is someone who still wears a retainer to sleep.

Soon, however, either you will get used to said morning breath (after all, morning sex involves making out and swapping your morning breath with your partner’s) or you’ll be able to ignore it. Either way, power to you and your relationship.

8. A new hobby involves popping pimples and blackheads.

Girls receive a sick pleasure out of popping pimples and blackheads. They love any kind of beauty routine that promises cleanliness and purity, even if the process is painful.

The ordeal involves washing their face thoroughly, pressing a hot wash cloth onto the face to open pores, and grabbing the nearest silver popping tool. Then, the squeezing begins.

It’s the best.

This kind of event is enjoyable for girls because it is their face, and because all dirt and gunk and whatnot that emerges is from their own bodies.

However, if your girlfriend offers to pop your pimples — that is, willingly come face-to-face with your dirt and gunk — take it as a sign that she finds even the grossest parts of you appealing and worthy of your touch. That’s huge.

9. Sicknesses don’t make kissing off-limits.

He’s oozing boogers. She’s got crusty Pink Eye. You hear the phlegm in his lungs when he coughs. She just puked. But nothing stops you from being with your partner and wanting to take care of him/her — and maybe even get physical.

Sick significant others will likely say things like, “No, I look really gross, stop,” or “There is no way I look cute right now,” to try to prevent you from seeing them (or to guilt you into disagreeing with their self-deprecations and bringing them soup), but you will dispute them.

Even with snot seeping from her nose and dark circles under his eyes, your boyfriend or girlfriend is just as appealing as he or she is in black tie attire.

At least, that’s what you’d better say.

10. Weight gain isn’t a big deal.

In this media-driven, image-obsessed world, we all strive to have the best bodies. Men stuff their faces with protein, women eat carrots, and everyone kills themselves at the gym.

These strategies are effective for the beginning of a relationship, but once you’re deep in one, laziness inevitably sets in.

When you’re in a relationship, you may notice changes in your significant other’s body overtime.

Maybe your arm sits differently on their waist, maybe you notice a pooch forming when you’re naked, or maybe you find you need to buy a bigger sized shirt than last year for this year’s Christmas present.

But weight doesn’t matter. You still remember them exactly how they were when you first met, and you still love them with the extra pounds.

11. Despite all of this, you actually still find your significant other sexy.

This is not a matter of simply tolerating these gross things; it’s a matter of still thinking your partner is incredibly hot regardless of them.

The poops, the weight, the sicknesses, the pimples — nothing can stop your heart from beating and your sexual drive from climbing.

Ten minutes ago, your boyfriend literally Dutch-ovened you with his farts, and now your bra is off and you’re ready to pounce him. How is this possible?

This truly must be what love is.

 

Credits: / Elite Daily

15 Reasons Why The Middle Child Is The Best Child

There are a lot of rumors going around that middle children have it pretty rough.

OK, some of those rumors are actually based on scientific evidence… but I think that the world has been looking at middle children all wrong.

As a middle child myself, I don’t think I’m the forgotten child—I’m the independent one.

You think I try and attract attention because I’m lonely? Nope, I’m just super creative and clearly the person everyone wants to party with. Admit it. I’m on your speed dial.

And I’m convinced I’m not alone.

Here are the talents that every middle child has, and that prove middle children will always and forever be kings among siblings.

1. The skilled negotiator

Middle children are pretty used to not getting their own way. Instead, they use their skills of manipulation and negotiation to get what they want, according to Psychology Today. This could explain why 52 per cent of American Presidents were middle children, including Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy and Teddy Roosevelt, says Katrin Schumann, author of The Secret Power of Middle Children.

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 2. Purveyors of peace

Along with those negotiating skills comes a need to chill everybody out. It’s not about escalation with middle children, but conflict resolution. Look at Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr. for some prime examples.

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3. Let the creative juices flow

With every type of surveillance available to parents these days, helicopter parenting has become a serious problem. One of the children not “benefiting” from this issue? Middle children. This leaves them open to experiment, try out new things and entertain themselves.

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4. Pressure is (usually) off

The first born has the world on their shoulders. A parent doesn’t want to know they screwed up, so tries every single self-help book they can purchase to make the perfect kid. The last born, they want to fix everything they screwed up along the way. But the middle child? They’re free to try out those experiments without the worry of their parents looming down over every move they make. And they usually have some awesome stories from those experiments, according to #6.

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5. You want them as your hubby or wifey

Remember those conflict-resolution skills? Well they’re especially beneficial when one of those stupid arguments come up about who should take the trash out. Fine, I’ll do it, but you’re TOTALLY being designated driver when we go out Saturday. Negotiation? Check. Got what I really wanted? Oh yes.

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6. They’re awesome at… “elaborating” stories

Whether it’s to get attention, resolve a dispute, or just deflect blame, middle children win at story time. They’ll even create some crazy antics just to get all eyes on them. Case and point? I’m writing this for you all right… now.

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7. They’re the glue of the whole damn family

Middle children are the silent presence that make everyone show up for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We’re the reassuring sibling that ends the feuds between mom and the younger sister so that everyone can move forward. And we never ask for credit. Basically, we’re saints.

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8. All that glue, and still got shafted

Your older child was a monster who got to do everything. So your parents decided to bring down the hammer on your ass. When you proved that you’re an angel, they softened for your younger sibling. ARE YOU F***ING SERIOUS, MOM?! But it’s OK, you get those siblings back in #11.

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9. Proof that sharing really is caring

No new bike? Sure. Hand me downs? That’s cool. No one likes the person at school or work that hogs all the good snacks, and we’ve been prepared for it our whole lives. Seriously. Just share. Your waistline is already thanking me for it.

10. We work hard, and play hard

OK, so every once and a while sure, I want some attention. So I’m willing to work super hard on this story so I can post it on my mom’s Facebook and she can tell all my aunts, “look at how amazing my daughter is writing for this fancy internet company!” Then, because I worked so hard, I’m calling up the girls. We’re getting tanked.

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11. Reap the benefits of both younger and older siblings

As a middle child, I looked up to my brother to figure out what I could and couldn’t get away with. For my younger sister, I had someone to pass my knowledge onto. And of course, I have two fantastic options of who really took dad’s car out and scratched the side while he was in Florida. Downside? It feels like you will forever be the one who shares a bed with a sibling. I’m 26. I don’t care if it’s a cheaper hotel rate. I need my own bed.

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12. They do their own thing, that’s why you love them

Ms. Independent is basically about my life. Middle children likely moved out as soon as they possibly could. Not that you wanted to leave your family, but you did want to do your own thing! Take Rachel Green as a prime example. Of course, she still needed love too. And she and other middle children will always be there for their family when they’re needed, as you’ll see in #15.

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13. Seriously go with the flow

While this usually ends up with us being the butt of everyone’s joke, you can shake it off. Pick your battles, man. Not everything is a war, and you know that logic will triumph eventually. I feel like a lot of hippies were likely middle children… and stoners.

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14. They’re always on time

Seriously. I HATE being late. It’s basically my worst nightmare. If someone says 8:30 p.m., I’m there at 8:30 p.m. or earlier. And I cannot STAND it when people say 8:30 p.m. when they really mean nine. “Why are you here so early? I didn’t think anyone would show until nine, so I’m not even ready to go out yet.” IF YOU MEANT NINE, SAY NINE!

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15. It’s never about them

Not that other people don’t make it about them, but middle children are always looking to help. They’re the shoulder to cry on, the person you know will always listen to whining about your boyfriend, the one who actually has solid advice based on personal experience or research and is willing to share it with you.

In conclusion, they’ll never ask for your attention, but believe me, they’re craving it. So go give the middle children in your life some thanks, because you’re damn blessed to have them!

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H/T: Diply

He Met Her Briefly In 1972 And Never Saw Her Again. His Message To Her 43 Years Later Gave Me Goosebumps

This is a Boston man’s “Missed Connections” post on Craigslist about a woman he met on New Year’s Eve in 1972. It was too beautiful not to share, and a great reminder that you never know why the people you meet are there…

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I met you in the rain on the last day of 1972, the same day I resolved to kill myself.

One week prior, at the behest of Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger, I’d flown four B-52 sorties over Hanoi. I dropped forty-eight bombs. How many homes I destroyed, how many lives I ended, I’ll never know. But in the eyes of my superiors, I had served my country honorably, and I was thusly discharged with such distinction.

And so on the morning of that New Year’s Eve, I found myself in a barren studio apartment on Beacon and Hereford with a fifth of Tennessee rye and the pang of shame permeating the recesses of my soul. When the bottle was empty, I made for the door and vowed, upon returning, that I would retrieve the Smith & Wesson Model 15 from the closet and give myself the discharge I deserved.

I walked for hours. I looped around the Fenway before snaking back past Symphony Hall and up to Trinity Church. Then I roamed through the Common, scaled the hill with its golden dome, and meandered into that charming labyrinth divided by Hanover Street. By the time I reached the waterfront, a charcoal sky had opened and a drizzle became a shower. That shower soon gave way to a deluge. While the other pedestrians darted for awnings and lobbies, I trudged into the rain. I suppose I thought, or rather hoped, that it might wash away the patina of guilt that had coagulated around my heart. It didn’t, of course, so I started back to the apartment.

And then I saw you.

You’d taken shelter under the balcony of the Old State House. You were wearing a teal ball gown, which appeared to me both regal and ridiculous. Your brown hair was matted to the right side of your face, and a galaxy of freckles dusted your shoulders. I’d never seen anything so beautiful.

When I joined you under the balcony, you looked at me with your big green eyes, and I could tell that you’d been crying. I asked if you were okay. You said you’d been better. I asked if you’d like to have a cup of coffee. You said only if I would join you. Before I could smile, you snatched my hand and led me on a dash through Downtown Crossing and into Neisner’s.

We sat at the counter of that five and dime and talked like old friends. We laughed as easily as we lamented, and you confessed over pecan pie that you were engaged to a man you didn’t love, a banker from some line of Boston nobility. A Cabot, or maybe a Chaffee. Either way, his parents were hosting a soirée to ring in the New Year, hence the dress.

For my part, I shared more of myself than I could have imagined possible at that time. I didn’t mention Vietnam, but I got the sense that you could see there was a war waging inside me. Still, your eyes offered no pity, and I loved you for it.

After an hour or so, I excused myself to use the restroom. I remember consulting my reflection in the mirror. Wondering if I should kiss you, if I should tell you what I’d done from the cockpit of that bomber a week before, if I should return to the Smith & Wesson that waited for me. I decided, ultimately, that I was unworthy of the resuscitation this stranger in the teal ball gown had given me, and to turn my back on such sweet serendipity would be the real disgrace.

On the way back to the counter, my heart thumped in my chest like an angry judge’s gavel, and a future—our future—flickered in my mind. But when I reached the stools, you were gone. No phone number. No note. Nothing.

As strangely as our union had begun, so too had it ended. I was devastated. I went back to Neisner’s every day for a year, but I never saw you again. Ironically, the torture of your abandonment seemed to swallow my self-loathing, and the prospect of suicide was suddenly less appealing than the prospect of discovering what had happened in that restaurant. The truth is I never really stopped wondering.

I’m an old man now, and only recently did I recount this story to someone for the first time, a friend from the VFW. He suggested I look for you on Facebook. I told him I didn’t know anything about Facebook, and all I knew about you was your first name and that you had lived in Boston once. And even if by some miracle I happened upon your profile, I’m not sure I would recognize you. Time is cruel that way.

This same friend has a particularly sentimental daughter. She’s the one who led me here to Craigslist and these Missed Connections. But as I cast this virtual coin into the wishing well of the cosmos, it occurs to me, after a million what-ifs and a lifetime of lost sleep, that our connection wasn’t missed at all.

You see, in these intervening forty-two years I’ve lived a good life. I’ve loved a good woman. I’ve raised a good man. I’ve seen the world. And I’ve forgiven myself. And you were the source of all of it. You breathed your spirit into my lungs one rainy afternoon, and you can’t possibly imagine my gratitude.

I have hard days, too. My wife passed four years ago. My son, the year after. I cry a lot. Sometimes from the loneliness, sometimes I don’t know why. Sometimes I can still smell the smoke over Hanoi. And then, a few dozen times a year, I’ll receive a gift. The sky will glower, and the clouds will hide the sun, and the rain will begin to fall. And I’ll remember.

So wherever you’ve been, wherever you are, and wherever you’re going, know this: you’re with me still.

21 Tiny Thoughtful Habits Of Any Man Worth Marrying

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1. He knows your breakfast order by heart. Whether it’s a toasted whole wheat sesame bagel with scrambled eggs and cheese and freshly squeezed orange juice or just black coffee. He’ll run out to pick it up or take you with him and recite your order by heart. He pays attention to the details of what you like.

2. He checks in on his way home. With a quick text, “Leaving the bar in 10 minutes. See you soon…” he lets you know that he hasn’t forgotten you, and that he’s ready to be with his favorite person again. He’s not sending this text because he thinks you’re paranoid, needy or insecure. He sends it out of mutual respect. He knows that giving you a head’s up prevents you from worrying about his safety or his level of sobriety. And it reminds you that he realizes the best part of his night has yet to begin. It’s also keeping you in the loop so you can cue up the movie you’ve been waiting to watch together.

3. He takes care of you. He’ll grab you an Advil and a glass of water if you have a headache. He’ll hit the pharmacy for some tissues and cough meds and pick up chicken noodle soup when you have a bad head cold. He’ll force you to take zinc lozenges and nudge you to see a doctor when you claim to be too busy to make an appointment.

4. He calls during the day just to check in. He may have a funny story to share or he might simply want to see how work is going. He’ll often try to convince you to shut down early so you can spend time together.

5. He’s great with kids. In fact, you’re pretty sure he could run a sports camp of some type. Kids flock to him and are eager to spend time with him. He’s a great role model. His upbeat personality and enthusiasm are infectious. There are huge grins on children’s little faces when he’s around.

6. He makes time for you. No matter how busy things get for him, he’ll never forget to set aside consistent alone time with you. You’re a priority to him, so he’s not afraid to turn down plans with “the guys” in favor of some QT with his lady.

7. He’s responsive to each and every one of your calls and texts. He’ll never go missing for multiple days in a row. He’s reliable. He won’t stand you up when you have plans. He doesn’t ask for rain checks because excuses are not part of his DNA. He’s not one to be consistently late because he cares enough to be on time.

8. He doesn’t keep in touch with ex-girlfriends. He knows that once a relationship is over, there is no good that can come from staying in close contact, particularly once he’s in a new relationship. There are no strange phone numbers popping up on his cell phone. Not that you know this because you don’t even feel the need to cybersnoop.

9. He randomly buys you scratch lotto cards. He loves handing you a coin and watching you uncover the numbers on the card. You’ll plan together what you’d do with the money if you should win. He’s a dreamer. And you love dreaming with him.

10. On certain occasions, you receive heartfelt gifts accompanied by thoughtful greeting cards. You’re into birthdays and anniversaries, so he is happy to celebrate them with you. If he knows you’re into writing, he’ll get you a beautiful journal. He inserts his humor into presents, too. For instance, if he sings you your favorite song, he’ll change the words to lyrics so they’re about that annoying co-worker you’ve been telling him about.

11. He’ll be a homebody when you’d rather be at home with his hot body. Instead of getting dressed up and spending a lot of money on a big night out, he’s ecstatic to stay in and curl up on the couch with you to watch a movie and order takeout. His back-to-back partying nights are behind him and he’s perfectly ok with it.

12. He still screams like a 7-year-old boy when his favorite football team scores a touchdown. He will be loyal to his team no matter how many times they lose, how many quarterbacks they go through in one season, or how far down the rankings they fall. This loyalty will be passed down to his relationships with family, friends, and even his future spouse. Once devoted, he’s in it for life.

13. He’s still regularly in touch with several of his childhood friends. Each considers your guy his best friend. He makes the time to call them back to find out what’s going on with them and will find a way to connect with them despite living in different cities and time zones.

14. He over-tips the wait staff at restaurants on a regular basis and is exceptionally polite to service industry workers in general. You know that if he cares enough to treat total strangers with respect that he’d do that times ten for you, and everyone else he loves.

15. He’s mature. He is not one to get swept up in the crowd’s momentum without making his own decisions. If several of his friends are doing whiskey shots until 4 AM, he’s the one making sure the tab is paid and that everyone gets home safely.

16. He’s incredibly handsome without trying. He’s low maintenance and dresses for comfort. The more you’ve gotten to know him, the better looking he’s become. He couldn’t care less what brand your jeans are or how high your heels are. He finds you beautiful in everything.

17. He says at least one thing every day that makes you crack up. It’s not always intentional—sometimes, it’s just his outlook on things. Though he definitely gets your sense of humor and loves to make you laugh.

18. He knows how to handle you when you’re in a bad mood. Whether it’s letting you rant for ten minutes straight while you go on about the incredibly selfish friend you have or to force you to go for a walk. He knows better than to start pressing buttons when you’re in this state and he’ll always take your side, even if you’re wrong.

19. He’s secure enough to love your strengths. He supports and encourages your independence, which is what he loves about you. He respects your need to keep up your own friendships but is happy to join you when invited.

20. He smells really good. When you hug him, you just want to keep on hugging him, just to breathe in his amazing scent that encapsulates the unique impression he makes. You hope that whatever you’re wearing will absorb just a little bit of his magic and hold on tight to it, releasing traces of it sporadically throughout your day.

21. He’s your biggest fan. When someone asks him about you, he lights up and proudly describes someone that you’re excited to be. He celebrates your successes because he’s someone who knows you inside and out and can appreciate both your struggles and achievements.

 

Credits: Stacey Becker / Thought Catalog

To my Soulmate I Choose not to Love.

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I have a theory that we have multiple “ones.”

That there is not just one soul reserved for us to love, learn and go deep with.

This was a hard lesson to learn, meeting my first soulmate, one—what have you, and realizing I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life with him.

I remember grieving the day he got engaged, because in a hopeful, stubborn way part of my heart had refused—until that moment—to believe he wasn’t my forever person.

He was on the wishful back burner of my heart.

I called my mother, in tears and she told me that he still was my person. He still was a one. He was still my soul mate.

I realized that just because he wasn’t my forever didn’t invalidate his importance in my life and our connection.

Our connection has remained something incredibly significant, something I fall back upon in my heart when I need to.

When I need to remember exactly what I want in a partner, I remember what a staggering soul he is—and I wait.

I want to talk today about the other “ones,” the soulmates we may meet while we are single or in a relationship that we don’t end up with.

That we have a sure fire connection with, real as any—but because of timing we don’t always go deep with.

I think it is incredibly mature to, without shame, acknowledge that in our lifespan we will bump into handfuls of succulent souls we want to take a bite out of.

Whether we are single, in a relationship, engaged or married we will run into other ones.

I also don’t think acknowledging these connections means we love our partners or want to be in our relationship less—it just means there’s a f*ck ton of souls/lovers on this planet we could dance with/learn from.

They are the ones we meet in a coffee line-up, the one beside us in our yoga class, the guy at the bbq who’s engaged.

It’s the ones we meet and feel an undeniably powerful connection.

A connection that leaves us wanting to know more.

I think we make a choice, whether we engage in these connections.

These words are for the ones we meet and don’t explore. 

 

The ones we love fully but don’t spend the rest of our lives with.

Those we run into at the grocery store and never see again.

The lovers we never take apart with our lips.

The partners we don’t open to and go deep with.

The people we don’t have a chance to have a first soul dip with.

The soul mates we skip coffee with, and look over our shoulder—for just a slight moment and wonder about.

The connections that exist that are missed, by choice.

Because we are involved, because they are unavailable, because one is simply not ready for love.

These ones are just as important as the forever–for we are here to connect, and what a gift to know that there are endless humans to open our hearts to and dance with.

What a treat to grow with multiple souls in a lifespan, or to simply know there are others out there who want to grow with us.

It is powerful to acknowledge these soulmates and thank them for the small reminder that in this massive, swallowing world we are never without the possibility of love.

 

Credits: / Elephantjournal

14 Ways the Girl with a Big Heart but Complicated Mind Loves Differently

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Being with the girl with a big heart but complicated mind may sometimes feel like you’re dating the most complex and satisfying of all puzzles.

Just when you start to feel like you’re figuring her out – you find another piece to the puzzle that throws everything off.

The girl with a big heart but complicated mind definitely loves differently. Spoiler alert: you’ll always be entertained.

1. Our hearts keep it simple – we fall in love to the fullest extent and we never second guess our feelings. When we love, we love intensely and we’re 110 percent sure. 

2. But our minds are another story, they’re analytical and imaginative and we think about everything. A lot. We admit that we’re overthinkers. Or could the rest just be under-thinkers? In any case, we end up making every situation in our life about 100x more difficult than it has to be. Sawry. 

3. We still appreciate every little thing you do. Whether it’s picking us up for a date, playing with our hair when we’re watching a movie or calling to see how we’re feeling, we’re quick to realize it, and thank you for your sincerity.

4. But we’ll never just go along with some semblance of a mediocre, passionless relationship. That might mean we’ll sometimes argue with you at inopportune times, but it’s not because we like drama – our anger is fueled by passion and emotions. We care and only want the best for ourselves and our partner.

5. That might mean at times we’ll challenge or confront you. As much as we love you, we aren’t the type of girl who nods and laughs and is always comfortable, we aren’t easy — as in, we don’t just “go with the flow.” 

6. But that’s because we crave more from you – we have opinions and big dreams for the future. We won’t put up with not getting everything we deserve. We won’t let you get away with slacking on your talents.

7. We’re complicated but not when it comes to our feelings for you – we’re more than happy to spend a night in with you, cuddling and watching a funny movie. Just spending time with us and showing us your love is more than enough.

8. Yes, at times we can get angry and be difficult, but know our intentions are always good. We’re not insecure control freaks, we just think. A lot. We’ll teach you how to be a better boyfriend and person because we won’t let you do whatever you want.

9. Some of the best gifts you can give us have no price tag. We get chills when you say the words “I love you,” and we’ll actually melt every time you look into our eyes with emotion and sincerity.

10. Communication is the greatest form of intimacy to us. None of your stories are unimportant. We want to hear it all.

11. Our hearts are very straightforward, we either get into a relationship where we know that we’re putting our time and energy into something that will ultimately pay off or end in a serious commitment… or we’re just not going to bother. If we like someone, we really like them.

12. But our minds couldn’t be further from conventional. We hate the concept of how things “should be.” We couldn’t live a “normal” life if we tried. We have no desire to follow the pre-determined form which means we will never just accept something, we question everything and investigate things for ourselves.

13. You’ll never be left uninspired or unsatisfied. It’s our intolerance of how things are “suppose to be” that has sparked us to innovate the lives we actually want to live, and we’ll definitely expand your mind and capabilities because of it.

14. Yes, we have a lot of enigmatic traits. Our head and heart can be a paradox all within themselves. At times it won’t be easy, but no one will love you better. No one will make love to you with as much passion.

 

Credits: Anna Bashkova / Puckermob

15 Things that Only Girls Who Love Comfort Understand

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There’s nothing wrong with loving the finer things in life. You live for the ultimate luxuries: cashmere, fleece, down feathers, the list goes on and on. Remember those insanely soft sweatpants from Hollister? Yeah, serious guilty pleasure.

1. Bed: there’s no place you’d rather be.

You and your bed have an unbreakable bond. It’s your sanctuary, your heaven, and your boyfriend. Each morning when you part, your heart breaks a little.

2. When you have to go out, you wear soft leggings or loose cotton shorts.

Being away from your bed is hard enough, so you only wear clothes that feel soft and cozy. Pants are your greatest enemy, but you’ll compromise with leggings or yoga pants. During the summer, you’re all about that cotton short trend.

3. You’ve seriously contemplated wearing sweatpants on a date.

As a firm believer in personality over appearance, you’d rather impress a guy with your mind than your body. Well honestly you don’t really care, you just want to stay in your sweats all the time.

4. After you landed the boyfriend, he only saw you in sweats and a messy bun.

Once you got the guy, you didn’t waste any time getting comfortable. Literally. You wouldn’t want a guy who wants you to be dressed up and cute all the time anyway.

5. You’ve brought your blanket to class/work because you couldn’t bear parting with it.

It’s just too soft to leave behind. And no one can question you because it’s far too cold in your office.

6. Your hair is literally always in a bun.

Having long hair is a blessing and a curse. It looks beautiful when it’s down, but it’s way too much work to manage on the daily. You want it out of your face and off your neck.

7. The greatest feeling on the planet is ripping off your bra at the end of the day.

No further explanation needed.

8. The second greatest feeling is taking out your contacts and putting on glasses.

If you wear contacts, you know the struggle. No matter how moist you keep them, they somehow still manage to be annoying. Taking those suckers out is such a relief.

9. Your bed is covered in plush blankets and fluffy pillows.

You daydream about your bed like a dog dreams of belly rubs. It’s incredibly invigorating to run home at the end of the day and leap onto your cloud of a bed.

10. You buy your clothes based on the softness and comfort of wearing them.

If you manage to find something soft, slouchy, and fashionable, you’re sold. It’s hard to not look like a frump when you’re always comfortable clothes, but you manage to pull off that boho chic look (translation: overpriced cardigans from Urban).

11. As fugly as they are, you love wearing Uggs in the winter, or at least around the house.

Who could blame you? Yes, you know that they are heinous, but you’re literally walking around on sheepskin.

12. After a shower, you love wrapping yourself in a fleece robe, slipping on your cloud-like slippers, and curling up in a blanket.

Shower time is you time. You get to soften your skin, wash your body with luxurious oils (or at least pretend to), and step out refreshed and clean. Next, you get all cozied up and lounge around for a while, watching Netflix or drinking tea. Nothing gets better than that.

13. You’ve wrapped yourself up in nothing but your softest blanket and walked around your house like a queen overlooking her kingdom.

Sometimes you’re really not in the mood for clothes. Nothing will do but your blanket and slippers, and that’s perfectly fine for you.

14. What you wear to bed is a big deal: you either sleep naked with lots of blankets, or wear the softest fleece pjs.

Depending on the season or your mood you’ll either sleep naked wrapped in blankets, or wear ultra soft sweats.

15. You’ve got that one shirt that you can’t live without. It’s been worn to bed, and then work the next day.

It is the softest most perfect shirt you’ve ever had. It’s a gift from the comfort gods, and you cannot live without it.

 

Credits: Lauren Leonhardt / Puckermob

5 Difficult Situations Where ‘Letting Go’ Is The Best Decision You’ll Ever Make

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1. When the people you love hurt you

We’ve all been hurt before. We let people in, and they shatter us. So we develop a ‘thick skin,’ as they tell us we should. But there are two different types of thick skin, the good and the bad. The first is when you develop resilience that keeps you strong; you don’t let people’s mistakes shatter you. The second is when you hold on to the fear of getting hurt. So you develop this ‘thick skin’, coated with fear and avoidance, as a barrier to block people out. This will ruin you; to avoid attachments for the fear of getting hurt is to avoid life.

2. When your bad habits turn into poison

We all have bad habits. While sometimes a bad habit is as simple as biting your nails, a bad habit can also turn into an anchor that prevents you from reaching your full potential. The thing with bad habits is that they provide us with comfort, so we just keep going back to them. Our brain tricks us into thinking that we must keep going back because that is the pattern of destruction we have created. But bad habits aren’t constricted to smoking, excessive drinking, and gambling. Bad habits can also be people you keep going back to, poisonous thoughts you hold on to, and self-abuse. In order to finally free yourself of the shackles that bind you to these habits, you must understand that a habit is a cycle. Each time you re-perform an activity, it just gets easier and easier to perform, and it eventually doesn’t require mental effort. So, you become stuck in a vicious cycle. Once you recognize this, you can overcome it.

3. When you put up a good fight, but you lose

It’s hard to let go of something you’ve put so much time and energy into. One of the worst things in life is putting so much effort into something, only to have it turn into ‘wasted effort.’ But what most people do not realize is that effort is never wasted. Sometimes you put everything you have into something, and it fails. But the lessons you learn about yourself and the world around you can propel you forward to even greater things. You must learn how to harness the energy you put into something and use it, along with the lessons you learned, as a catalyst for other ambitions in life. Don’t let the thoughts of wasted effort hold a sour note in the back of your mind.

4. When you fall in love with someone you aren’t compatible with

Contrary to popular belief, it does happen. Your ‘perfect match’ and the person you love do not always have to be synonymous. We are often told that we will fall in love with people we are compatible with; this is the biggest myth. People fail to accept the idea that the person they love might not be right for them because they were taught to believe that love always wins. In a perfect world, this might be true, but this world is far from perfect. Sometimes logic and circumstances get in the way. Sometimes you love someone, but they just aren’t good for you. So take a good, hard, look in the mirror, and tell yourself to leave before it hurts too much to look at them.

5. When you enter a new chapter in life

As we grow, we enter new chapters in life. We move to new cities, we leave old friends, people leave us, we grow, and we learn. It’s just a part of how life works. People tend to hold on to what they think their life should look like, in fear of venturing into an unfamiliar chapter. Think of life as your favorite book: some chapters are worse than others. In one chapter someone dies, and in another someone falls in love. You should always look forward to new chapters, because who knows what might happen. The next chapter may be better than the last, or worse, and that’s okay. Imagine reading a book and going through each chapter while your head is stuck thinking about the second one. You find yourself on the last page, and the whole book is a blur. You don’t want your life to turn into a blur. Whether you like it or not, your life will change, and life doesn’t stop to ask whether or not you want to board the ship. So be present and don’t be afraid to make transitions.

 

Credits: Yasmine Amin / Thought Catalog

7 Things You Should Know Before Dating The Girl Who Worries All The Time

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Anxiety is a problem that everyone has to deal with from time to time, but some people suffer from it way more frequently.  It can affect people to varying degrees, often in the form of a person who would describe themselves as a worrywart, someone who’s fretting about stuff all the time.

But just because a girl worries all the time doesn’t mean she’s not worth dating.  You just need to be aware of some of these things first.

  1. Telling her to stop worrying just isn’t going to cut it.

    Sometimes it just slips out when you think you’re saying something helpful, but a person who is worrisome can’t simply stop.

  2. Sometimes she’ll just need you to be there and listen.

    Even if you can’t solve any of her problems, even if she’s you keep offering the same comfort over and over again, that’s okay.  She just needs you to be there.

  3. She knows that often her anxiety is irrational.

    Anxious people know better than most that their worrying and freaking out is pointless in the long run.  That doesn’t make it any easier to stop, so you don’t need to tell her that.

  4. She might get overwhelmed and cry.  Frequently.

    It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, so don’t take it personally.

  5. She’s just as frustrated about it as you are.  Probably more.

    Patience is key.  If you show that you’re exasperated with her, it’ll just make her even more anxious.

  6. She has probably worried about every aspect of your relationship at length.

    Worrisome people are great at getting inside their own head, to a fault, actually.  Most likely they’ve thought about every possible twist and turn your lives might take and worried over them each in turn.

  7. She will appreciate your compassion more than she can even say.

    Being there for her will take some patience and empathy on your part, but she’ll pay it back tenfold and love you that much more for it.

 

Credits: Becky Blackman / PuckerMob

19 Struggles Only Women Who Hate Wearing Makeup Understand

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1. Makeup tutorials on YouTube terrify you. What? How did they make it do that? Where did their face go? How do they look like that now? How did they just make a “smokey eye” look so flawless in under 5 minutes?

2. The last time you attempted to do the smokey eye, it just looked like someone punched you in the face.

3. Sometimes people try to compliment you on the fact that you don’t wear makeup. “Good for you, having that much self-confidence!” It’s not that you’re ridiculously confident. It’s just that… you’re really lazy.

4. When you actually do wear makeup, you’re usually too tired to wipe it off at the end of the night so you just fall asleep with it all on and then wake up with raccoon eyes.

5. And then the next day people are like “Wow, makeup two days in a row, huh?” And you don’t have the heart to tell them that it’s just second-day makeup, so you just play along. “I know, right?!”

6. What the fuck is contouring? Sounds like a medieval torturing practice.

7. In your mind, putting on moisturizer counts as using makeup.

8. You’re insanely jealous of the part in Mulan where she takes off all her makeup in one swipe. It’s not FAIR. It’s not that easy. Disney LIED to you.

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9. When you do put makeup on, some people will occasionally say something like “Well, you clean up nicely!” And unfortunately it’s considered rude for you to respond back with, “Shut up.”

10. Every once in a while you find a product – usually at the convenience store – that leads to you convincing yourself that perhaps makeup can be easy. Maybe this mascara or eyeliner will change everything and will make you actually want to wear makeup every day!

11. So you try it out for two days in a row and then you’re exhausted. It’s just not worth the extra twenty precious minutes of sleep you have to give up.

12. You do not understand the difference between foundation and coverup and powder and concealer and you never will. Your friends have tried to explain it to you a thousand times, but you usually get bored halfway through the lesson and just stop listening.

13. “You could be so much prettier if you wore makeup.” Thank you! Your personality would be so much better if it was completely different from the way it is now.

14. Nothing is worse than when you go to rub your eye and then you remember that for once you’re actually wearing makeup. And then a little speck of something black gets in your eye and you CAN’T FORGET ABOUT IT and then you spend the entire party, or wherever you’re at, looking like you’re having a stroke.

15. Sometimes people take your whole not-wearing-makeup-thing as a stance against society. It’s not. You think makeup is perfectly fine and have no problems with it whatsoever. Your issue comes when people make you feel like there’s something weird about the fact that you personally don’t wear it.

16. When you do your makeup yourself, you usually end up looking like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. 

17. Lipstick, lipgloss, or any other terrifying lip concoction just baffles you. How does it stay on? What if you accidentally eat some? What do you do when you desperately want to eat a cheeseburger but you’re concerned about the lipstick getting all over that precious bun? These are the things that plague you.

18. If you’ve ever had your makeup professionally done, sometimes the makeup artist will attempt to explain to you what they’re doing and what they’re using. They’re usually very helpful and sweet, so you just nod politely and smile. But in your head you know you’re never going to remember and/or be able to carry out anything that they actually showed you.

19. You don’t care what people say – fake eyelashes are the most terrifying thing you’ve ever encountered. 

 

Credits: Kim Quindlen / Thought Catalog

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